"Ancora Imparo"

That quote, translated as "I am still learning", is attributed to Michelangelo on his 87th birthday and could not be a more fitting phrase for my week, and my guess is for yours as well. It seems to me that we are all here learning multiple lessons, many times over. Just when we think we've mastered one particular hurdle, it presents itself directly in our path once again, only to cause us to stumble and fall.

My knees got skinned up this week as I too tripped over my own obstacles. It was a very familiar theme that I battled, that being fighting a losing battle. The title of my blog is by no means an exaggeration, I am relentless. I have held strong in the face of many assaults, but the hardest war ever waged has been within myself and has been about knowing when to disengage.

A relative's verbal onslaught returned me to that place in my mind where I charged the gauntlet that had been thrown down, with the tenacity of a bulldog. I become hell bent on engaging their irrational behaviors, hoping only to convince them of their outlandish and utterly ridiculous display. That quickly I am returned to the days of my childhood where I stood toe to toe with the insanity of my parents. Then it was truly about my survival. Today, time and space allow me to see the futility in trying to convince them of anything.

I had to walk away, from the bloodshed and from them. It's one of the hardest things I had to do because I am not a quitter and my heart had hopes of bringing them into a place of healing with me. The toughest lesson for me to learn, by far, is that a smart soldier knows when to turn and leave, not admitting defeat but instead displaying acceptance. In that acceptance the rage of a warrior is replaced with the grief of saying goodbye, cutting one of the last tenuous strings that kept us connected. It was ultimately a loving act not just for myself, but for them as well as I refused to continue to remain in conflict; playing a game that had only losers.

And so, I faltered for a few days on lessons not yet fully integrated, but the good news is that I was embattled for days, and no longer years. I have learned, and clearly, am still learning. I played out old energies within my mind but ultimately returned to my heart and permitted the tears to add another layer of healing to a time and place that is long gone. Today's family member had taken me there, but it was me that found my way out. I had come full circle, my dogged personality returning me to a moment of healing and truth, not a place of entanglement.

It is true, each and every one of us shall fall but the lesson is always, "What is the lesson?" With that spirit in mind we will remain victorious wherever life may lead us.

Be well and happy.

My Book: http://tinyurl.com/Relentlessbyspringer

The Practice of Practicing

There are many things I've written in these blogs that aren't news to many of my readers. The knowledge I share has been offered by numerous others in varying forms and fashions, and that's as it should be for repetition and practice appears to be one of our modalities of learning in this journey of life in which we are being schooled.

To many of those I encounter I stress that the information and techniques I share only work if they work and utilize them. This, of course, sounds fairly obvious but it has been my observation that the art of practicing our teachings is where many fall short. The society in which we live is all about the quick fix and the magical pill we can pop to cure us. The processes of self-growth and awareness are indeed magical but by no means are they the fast train to ultimate bliss. They require consistent effort, and plodding if you will, on our part in order that they may be the most effective.

After all, there are very few things that we've learned that didn't require repeated and prolonged practice, like walking for example. Just as we didn't master this skill in one fell swoop, so too do we have to "fall down and get back up" as we explore spiritual and personal growth, striving to develop a new skill set. If we never had the courage to pull ourselves back to standing after that first fall, or worse yet never dared to walk at all, we would remain stagnant and stymied in our world. This truth applies to every new tool we seek to utilize, each requires a determined approach that can only come from within. Walking was demonstrated by others as they meandered about. Parents support and encourage as children strive to perfect the art of personal locomotion, but never can anyone actually do the walking for you, the true drive comes from within and takes years to fully master the coordination of the growing and developing muscles.

As we seek to develop these new practices and "muscles" we can go nowhere without applied and continual personal effort. Attending a class or reading a book is not the only level in personal growth, simply the first, as this is not an osmotic process. The healers and teachers of our world will may "carry you" at times, as a parent would a young or tired child, but always you are released to explore the world and practice. It's one of the most simple and unwavering truths of growth.

I implore you to commit to making you, and the newest knowledge shared with you, a priority. The habits of our past are embedded deeply on all levels of our being and it is only with self commitment that we will slowly but surely make our way out of the confines of the old, which truly are tried but oft times no longer true to our present.

Be well and happy.