Can you have deja vu about deja vu? I believe its happening to me. I feel like I'm beating a dead horse here guys, so please forgive me. But in keeping with my intentions for this blog, I bring to light whatever themes are currently presenting themselves in my little corner of the world, with the understanding and my personal agreement with the universe that it is applicable to my readers as well. Whew, that was a big ole mouth full. In short, what I'm about to say I feel I've said ad nauseum but the topic of discussion has presented itself one too many times for me to stubbornly ignore it. So it here goes....
Positive affirmations. Untold amounts of money have been spent on various products offering a gentle phrase for us to consider. A very popular woman in the New Age circle has made a living out of instructing the nation on the powerful impact and necessity of such expressions. I would never say that positive affirmations offer no value. Please, continue to repeat the newest saying being shared on your daily desk calendar. Certainly, focus on a positive affirmation is much healthier than plastering a magnet on your fridge that says, "I'm an asshole." Positive affirmations can temporarily provide us with a kinder approach and mental focus to consider, and of course that is never a bad thing.
In the field of neuroplasticity they have discovered that we can indeed create wiring for these new thoughts and beliefs. Our cells certainly do respond to the "positive" or "negative" energy of our words.
But...(You knew it was coming.) what it can't fix is that flip side of the coin, that side of you that doesn't believe one word you're uttering or reading in bold print- despite the exclamation point being offered up at the end of the sentence. No, I'm not being a Negative Nancy, what I am being is realistic.
When others are sharing their life stories with me, many are filled with unresolved issues such as abusive parenting, parental depression, alcoholism, familial suicide, betrayal, divorce, abortions and absent parents to name a few examples. These dear souls sit mired in shame, hatred, rage, confusion, pain, trauma, unworthiness, distrust and fear. I'm sorry, but a post-it note in their car that professes, "You are loved," does nothing but disturb a dust mote or two that has accumulated on their mountain of emotional turmoil.
The power and the force of all that old programming is monumental. The gravity of their situation, both figuratively and literally, will hold them in that energy and the thoughts and feelings it creates. The grip that it possesses reflects the impact of the true daily mottos that are swimming about in their psyche: "I'm not loveable. I must be perfect. I'm worthless. I'm selfish. Everyone abandons me. It was my fault. I'm a bitch. I'm ugly. I can't trust myself. I'm all alone." Do you feel have heavy those thoughts are? Unfortunately, they are from uncommon and are tough to budge without consciousness. They get much more airtime than people are able to dedicate to each day's positive affirmation.
So if you choose to utilize positive affirmations I think that is wonderful but I would encourage you to take the next step, which is examine that part of you that stands in complete opposition to it. Ask yourself, "Do I really believe that?" If the answer is "No," then take time to understand the origins of that defeating thought. That "negative" belief is simply a part of you that is crying out to be heard and receive healing. Hold it, don't run from it. The beauty of it is that as that old baggage is examined and slowly released, there is now more space for the positive affirmations to land and truly stick. That fertile soil is where our accelerated growth manifests.
Be well and happy.
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